Apocalypse Lately

October 10, 2010 § 1 Comment

I feel like the word “apocalypse” has been floating around recently, nosing its way into the media, and lurking in seemingly innocuous conversation.  Today on NPR I heard a teaser for an upcoming story concerning Glenn Beck ‘s use of the phrase “the constitution is hanging by a thread.”  Though I was about to zone out after hearing “Glenn Beck,” the idiom roped me back in.  It seems that Glenn Beck is possibly alluding to an obscure prophecy, which foretells that the U.S. Constitution will be hanging by the proverbial thread and the Latter-day Saints will sweep in to save the day.  I don’t know about everyone else, but the nerd in me really wants Kirk and Spock to travel back in time and across a parallel universe to rescue the U.S. and to bring me one of those sweet phasers.

30 Rock also made reference to the end of civilization this past week when Jack asked Liz what role she would play in a post-apocalyptic world. Spoiler alert: Liz would be a terrible traveling bard.  She needs her urban nest and spinster props.

“Apocalypse” made it into a conversation Thursday night (it’s a prime time slot).  During the wobbly walk to the Top, the discussion turned towards amalgam words—I really like the way “apocalypse” sounds so I wanted to make an amalgam out of it and then Robbie introduced “apoplectic” to the dialogue.  If these words are combined then you get either “apopalypse” or “apocalectic” both of which mean that uncontrollable bleeding into an organ causes the end of civilization.

I’m not trying to read into things too much or form any kind of conspiracy, but it could be useful to ponder what one may need to know or have in case of an apocalypse.  To be completely honest, I have thought about this a lot and prepared for it in various haphazard ways.  For instance sometimes when I’m jogging, I keep myself motivated by imagining that there are zombies chasing me.  Not really, but I have been gardening and learning to tie knots.  I figure if civilization nose-dives into the dark ages then I will definitely have the collards and square knots covered.  I also plan to get a really great dictionary and thesaurus because Internet will not exist and I can never remember how to spell “apoplexy.”  Not to mention dictionaries are great weapons.

For now though I am going to enjoy the luxury of thesaurus.com and take comfort in the fact that there aren’t any zombies yet, so I don’t really need to be able to do a pull-up.


§ One Response to Apocalypse Lately

  • I’ll take a phaser, too, and if the world does end in the next 7 months, let’s hope it ends on a Thursday. That would be fitting.

    As for my contributions… Well, institutional knowledge, I guess. I really have no tangible uses apart from Internet fodder. If you want, though, I could learn to play the triangle and we could form a post-armageddon, traveling band of gypsy gardeners. That would be pretty neat.

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