The New American Dream (and way cooler than the Batmobile)
October 2, 2010 § 3 Comments
In early April The L Magazine reported that Alec Baldwin purchased a 48-year-old bookmobile from the Massapequa Library System. We all know Baldwin from his role as the old-school, ethically questionable, man’s man Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock (and of course from his part in Beetle Juice). So what is the notable actor/butt of Baldwin jokes doing with a bookmobile that rolled around during the Kennedy administration? My speculations resulted in two theories that I believe are completely reasonable and not the least sarcastic or disparaging.
Theory number one: he is taking a cue from his 30 Rock persona and has a sweatshop of writers toiling away on typewriters drafting the next Great American Novel. I admit this is an ideal situation and libraries—even roaming ones—have always been ideal locales for tortured creative types (it doesn’t get much better than scribbling on legal pads shielded from the distractions of sunlight and human interaction by walls and walls of books). I wouldn’t even mind Baldwin starring in the movie version of this book, that is, as long as Meryl Streep is there to steal every scene.
My second theory involves Baldwin and a group of children under the age of 10. Yes, that’s right, exactly what you were all expecting from the man who starred in Clerks: The Animated Series, the world will soon experience “Story Hour with Alec.” Just imagine snot-nosed kids piled all over Mr. Baldwin as he performs dramatic readings from Curious George and Eloise. Perhaps he can get the other Baldwin brothers to join; hell, they could have a traveling troupe. In the very least it would keep Daniel from stealing cars and prevent Stephen from starring in Syfy original movies (sorry Dad, I know you loved Earthstorm). Of course Alec might have just wanted a space in which to sprawl out in his underwear and read comic books. Isn’t that what we all want?
For further reading on what it is to be a Baldwin see the Slate.com article, “The Baldwin Brothers.”
Off the Stands 
I would be a better person for having never seen the phrase “involves Baldwin and a group of children under the age of 10.” On the other hand, I think I would’ve quite enjoyed his “Selections from ‘Goodnight Moon'” as a wee 4-year-old at the Marietta Public Library. Say what you want about his questionable choice of roles and calling ones daughter “a pig,” but Alec could bring charisma to recitation of Webster’s Thesaurus (which I realize you’d love anyway).
I don’t really know how to respond but to say yes.
Earthstorm rocked the world! Now Imust go back and watch Beetlejuice if it hasn’t been confiscated. The Balswins are an interesting family, never a dull moment.